Can I any more?


I don’t think I can feel any more.

But I still do and sometimes I wish that I couldn’t.

That I could be numb, from all the pain I feel.

But if that became true I would loose another piece of me.

And I have lost so much already.

I have seen my darkest day,

when I lost the love that shined upon me since I was a child.

And now with out love what can I be?

I can’t share,

for I have only scared away those that might have cared.

I can’t talk,

because no one wants to hear what I have to say.

And what’s left?

No One.

I am alone.

For I have been aloner for all my life, and now that I’m truly alone. I know that I don’t want it to be this way.

That I want to share the fun and joys of life and to confide in those that carried,

but no one does.

No one wants to hear such a rich and deep, then finally tragic story.

To Love so deeply and only to have it ripped away from your life.

And to have never been able to do anything to escape.

For all the pain I feel I know that I am truly one of the few lucky people on this earth. For I have been truly loved and understood. And Love is a feeling so strong that shakes all of the heavens and earth. So few know what it could feel like and some think they do. But they really don’t. They use the word so casually, so effortlessly. It’s so much more than a simple saying or happy feeling . Love is that no words can ever describe . Love can only shown and then it is felt. I still have that gift the gift she gave me. I still have love that burns in my soul.

But now I also have something else. Some thing that I can’t give to any one else. But that is why I feel it for I have know one else and cries are elisped by the darkness of the night.

I pray that my flame will burn bright once again. That I can bring the light she gave me, to those that need to see and feel the bright warm sun.

The warm morning sun,

That I once felt upon my soul.


Brady Smith
12/19/97