I don't know I'm confused but in a good way. My soul is clear in what it wants, but my mind is in a dizzy spin. How many times can I mess up by not saying what I want to say, and then by some amazing chance of luck, have another chance to the very same day.  Still sometimes this old rock says not what it wants, not what it feels, but ironically I don't feel as bad the second time. For I feel fate or what ever you can call it, will bring our paths in life to meet again. But finding confort in this has hindered me and now bothers me. What of all the missed times we should of have could have had are gone and pretty soon our time might past. For it bothers me that I know I have not made the most of that time.

But in time this real feeling will only grow.  Stunned for what I felt the very first time when our eyes met, for it was so unique and powerful to me that I could not use any words.  I don't know were I go from here for this path is one I have never seen or taken. It is only one I have dreamt about. For that path can carry me to ether extreme. And sadly I'm scared, for I have felt and seen too much, but at the same time not enough. Ironically I have been a loner all my life. And now that I'm truly alone I don't want it to be this way. There has to be more, something. So I want to change my life. Yes change is good yes, but it must happen for the right reasons. Not out of sadness, not out of loneliness, and not to be rushed, but it should happen in its own time.  But how will I know when it's that time?  Or will I let that time past and it will become too late.