Aren't What They Used To Be, Any More..
what they used to be any more..
Holidays used to
be a time filled with joy and love, because you were there. You always
made the days bright and the storm clouds disappear.
I still dream of
looking into your blight sparkling
eyes and hearing your soft warm voice,
I wake and it feels like it was a nightmare because now you are no longer
Now on holidays and
days when I need you. I feel so empty and lost. I try to keep going, but
I stumble and fall like a child running around scared in the dark night.
No more joy do
they only remind
me how alone I am.
How empty I feel
with out your pure warm unconditional love and how much sadness fills that
open void in my soul.
You were the only
one that could complete my thoughts before I could say them,
the only one that
could feel what I felt beside of what I said to you.
Your love was with
me since my time began on this earth.
And now that's all
I miss you telling
me how truly special I was and I didn't deserve what I got.
I miss the feeling
of what a joy it was for you to see, speak, and hear me.
But what I miss
of all is not being here for you…
It gave me such a
great joy to surprise you and brighten your life as you did in mine.
To give and share
with you all that I ever was, and now there is noting.
No one to share
my love, feelings, thoughts and desires. No one to look for me,
and now I have
no one to look for anymore. .
Some days, these
days I'm knocked down and cant get up.
I struggle and only
to wear myself out.
and Now the
of things tear at my soul.
All it would
take is a little sprinkle of your love to make things better.
I'm at the edge of
being pushed off.
Once you were there
to pull me back, but now. . you aren't anymore
and each day I
Mabey I will feel
a as strong love in days to come with a as special woman or child,
but it will be
Never again will
I be baby, to be read to and rocked to sleep.
Never again can any
one confort and protect the young innocent child from the monsters in the
Never again can any
one be there for my first step.
And now I'm
For now holidays,
are when I walk the cold disserted streets alone with no place to
I can hear the
of laughter and love form the homes around.
I envy them and
good for them, but at the same time my wombs reopen.
I pray that they
realize what they have. For tomorrow it will be a memory.
For I have no place
I have seen and
felt my darkest day.
The day you and
your love left this earth.
And now holidays
are. .. . days
Days to be
Days to cry.
Dark days .
For now the
are nothing but memory's.
a memory.. . . .